Countdown to the Walk to Defeat ALS - 4 weeks!

Here it is October and four weeks from today I will be participating in the Walk to Defeat ALS, sponsored by the ALS Association of North Texas. I want to help them raise money to continue helping others with ALS like they have helped me and to continue sponsoring research for a cure.

Thank you to those who have already made a contribution to my team. If you still want to contribute, I want to encourage you. You can visit my team web page and make a contribution by clicking here.

Love,

Dewie

Dewie's Story Part 3

DEWIE’S GREATEST GIFT

Dewie has always been a champion when it comes to acceptance – even before she had ALS. She has always had an incredible ability to accept life as it is without bitterness or rancor. It is probably her greatest gift and when I look back I realize that it is the reason I fell in love with her.

When we first met Dewie seemed an exceptionally happy person. Then as I learned about her life her happiness seemed odd to me. Dewie’s father was her mom’s second husband and Dewie’s parents separated just before she was born. Dewie’s mom was married five more times before she finally had a marriage that lasted. Dewie’s favorite stepfather lived in Mexico and Dewie spent a big part of her childhood and early adolescence there. But that marriage ended and she came back to Santa Monica where she graduated from high school. But while she was in Mexico, her older brother left to live with their natural father. Then her stepfather left for the States when there was a trial separation. Then Dewie’s mom put her in boarding school in Guadalajara and left to try to patch things up with her stepfather. So at the age of 14 Dewie was completely alone in Mexico. Everybody she loved and who loved her had left her all alone in the world.

But with all this upheaval in her life Dewie seemed genuinely happy and uncomplicated when I met her. It wasn’t that she didn’t get sad sometimes, but when her sadness had passed it left no trace. She loved her mom and her brother. She had reconnected with her dad and had a good relationship with him. She liked her stepfathers and kept in touch with them. Her step dad from Mexico was still her favorite. She had accepted things as they were and simply continued living without recrimination or regret. It wasn’t a philosophy of life for her. There was almost no effort in it for her. It’s just who she was and I had never known anyone like her.

Dewie’s easy acceptance of things has sometimes frustrated me over the years because it is so different from the way I naturally am. I’m inclined to resist things I don’t like even when resistance is futile. I don’t recommend that approach to life - it’s just what has always come naturally to me. So I would be frustrated that Dewie couldn’t (or wouldn’t, I imagined) join me in my ongoing project to mold life to my liking, or especially to join me in my inevitable frustrations and disappointments. In those times I simply forgot what attracted me to Dewie in the first place, and the wisdom of choosing her as my mate.

So Dewie got ALS and her gift for accepting life as it is has taken center stage. She seems so wise to me now and it seems I cannot do better than to follow her lead and try to finally learn this lesson about acceptance. Dewie has not once said, “Why me?” She has very seldom cursed her disease. She has her sad moments and she will mourn the loss of things she can no longer do, but those moments pass and she is happy again. She is happy to be with others and to interact. She is happy to love and be loved. And she is happy to talk even without her voice. And she is happy to be alive.